radically raw & real (april 2010)

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
E.E. Cummings

It has been nearly a year since I published an issue of theMessenger. Last spring, I decided to let go of the idea that it was something required of me, and I waited for an impulse to reach out. It is no exaggeration to say that I feel like a different person, writing to you now. The past year shifted me in irrevocable ways, and finding the words to articulate these shifts, still occurring within, will take time. The truth is, I haven't known exactly what to share in recent months. In the past, I would simply wait for experiences to ripen into insight, then find a way to place it in a larger context that others might be able to relate to. But the past year has offered me more questions than answers. As a life coach in today’s culture, I often felt an implied pressure to offer a formula that promises transformation. I would peruse the shelves of self-help sections and marvel at the titles... each one making a claim towards a different brand of salvation (happiness, abundance, loving connection). I did my best to fit the mold of the perfect coach; even offering workshops featuring principles deemed as 'universal.' Yet, over time, I felt a nagging frustration grow within. While I did my best to encourage self-reliance, I began hearing a new brand of self-deprecating statements from clients who felt shame and frustration at their seeming lack of 'success' with the so-called laws of growth and transformation...